hear the voice thats calling
maybe our hearts were next in line
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showerof-faith.blogspot.com (aminlater.livejournal.com)
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if you'd listen CYNTHIA, 03/03. 6/1'05, 2E4'07, 4E3'09, Orchestra, Digital Art, 13th Prefectorial Board. Motivation is: percussion(WDMF), ManUtd, ever-smiling pooh, fellow excos, fellow seeoh mates, clique, family, hktk. Happiness is: Percussion Grade5, End of O's, WMC. Despite the distance apart, it keeps leaving me needing you. |
I'll try, I will.
A short one before leaving for my grandparents' place. It is clear that Syf is extremely important to us, as I saw Yj cry today I knew Im not the only one whos working. In fact Ive discover this fact long ago, but today I was really touched. Dont worry Yj, you dont stand alone we're a section so Im sure we'll be able to make it through together alright! Get well soon! I dont want this journey with the 13th board and the orchestra to end just like that. I really hate to see things end this way, but sadly there isnt any other way out either. (helplessness.) "I never gave up on you, but you're slowly pushing me in that direction." Day168; not maybe not tomorrow not someday but now
Last night's concert was a blast despite the fact that we (Ys, Bs, and I) laughed our way through. I like the way sco perform, we should learn too.Ive finally started on PI! Thats definitely a happy news for a slacker like me. Look ug camp comm, Im no longer a slacker! I know by doing that I'll be lagging behind again, but I'll keep trying. I believe I can, and I'll try. (Anyway, although I was too lazy to reply Im still thankful of everything.) "No, I cant deny, its the fear of letting you / everything related to you go." when a heart breaks it dont breakeven.
Its all about coping with stress, and moving at the same time. Seems like my explaination will never get through them. If only they knew Ive really been trying. )': If only you've been here. If only, if only, if only. Kai was right. Maybe we're not supposed to be happy, maybe we're just nmtb
Overslept for tuition and had my tutor knocking the door for twenty minutes. Haha, I heard it but apparently I thought it was just some salesperson so I conviniently ignored it. When I finally woke up and opened the door, his facial expression was hilarious. My tutor can really make me laugh, alot. And anyway, the textbk is so misleading!I really regret not getting the crumpler bagpack. ARGH. ): Guess many teachers are getting pretty stressed up lately, just like us they're having thoughts to give up. The only difference: not on the subjects but us. Sigh.. I guess we should all workharder and persist! We all know its gonna be a tough ride before we reach the terminal, none of us is ever gonna drop off half way so lets really jiayou and fight this battle together! Hang in there! Tonight, tomorrow, Sunday will be pia days. Jiayou! Ss was practically a laughing lesson. Des, Hw and I laughed like :O over so many things! There seems to be something thats lacking, but I just cant pinpoint what is it. Rightfully, I should try to understand, but (...). "Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate." ignorance is bliss.
In truth, knowing too much isnt helping at all, now that Ive known everything I hope I knew nothing in the first place. Sigh. #164, it keeps leaving me needing you
As I have my dinner (at 9.48pm), shall use this time to multi task and blog.It feels good being productive and on task. Its been long since the very last time Ive spent such a long time at the lib. Been having headache for 4 consecutive nights, I bet if this persists my brain is seriously gonna explode. My medicine is useless, and I honestly feel too much of it will corrode my body system:/ Anyway, it was rare for me to stay this calm when Im late. Miracle, even my mum had a shock because Im usually a kanchiong-spider. Im reallayeeeeeee addicted to whatever it takes by lifehouse. Im sure the acoustic version would sound better! (I'll do whatever it takes to turn this around, ) Planning of PI is starting soon, I hope the 10 of you will really treasure every moment you have together, I will cherish every single moment I have from now with the excos and you guys. Because I know once we step down, everything will change, inevitably everything will be different. Being overly emotional, seriously sucks. Its about getting used to things, I guess thats life, thats helplessness. these miles have torn us world's apart &I miss you.
I have no idea why each time after seeoh / during seeoh I'll be having headache. That sucks. :/ Anyway, its really comforting to hear Mr Sim saying "silver is secured." (That is if we play as well as during the prac) But if its a gold, it'll be so much better and all the pain that Ive been going through its all worthwhile.Today was generally a good start of the entire term(except results that were demoralising). At least Im having the drive to complete all the work. Thats great, thats great. Anyway I think Ive been watching toooooo many horror movies lately, should cut down on it. The funny thing about this is, Im never brave enough to open my eyes wide to watch the entire movie. Dumb:/ Another thing, I'll start laughing when I see the ghost/monster-like-creature. Ive became a saddist! OH NO:/ (Anyway its hard for me to figure out what Im typing, so shall end off quickly.) Oh no, the teevee is reviewing the 1 - 4 match again. AH, thats super irritating. Whatever it is, GO MAN UTD! (Okay, its about liverpool. :/) I miss the years that were erased I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face I miss all the little things I never thought that they'd mean everything to me From Where You Are (Lifehouse) pia.
Its typical of us to gather on the last day of holiday to: chiong homework. Pathetic :/P/s. My ulcers almost killed me:/ being able to survive it doesnt mean it was ever okay
My life is not only about myself, but people around me too. I guess its time I start to cherish the time I have with everyone around me more. Life is too vulnerable, too short for us to waste any moment. No one knows whats going to happen tomorrow, today(yesterday) Ive really seen it all.Chat we had at Ft's place was a blast. Really enjoyed you girls' company alot, thanks! Gosh, drumline sountrack almost burst my eardrums. Too loud, but awesome. Anyway saw the real a&t drumline, and some other drumline battles on youtube, all of them play snares as if its the only thing they've ever done in their years of living. Really :O, thumbs up. Pref Investiture / Syf - in a month's time. "How can I move on when I'm still in love with you." The man who cant be moved (The Script) I live on motivation
It is you(I have loved) - Dana GloverMight sound gay, but I really like the melody. I guess it sounds better in piano version. Shrek might be a stupid movie to some people(HA:P), but the theme songs kinda rock. Today is a shrek day I guess? I found my shrek ears(from Mac) and started wearing it because I realised Ive left all my clips at grandma's place, started listening to shrek theme song, talked about shrek movie. 16July'09. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Im seriously going to devote the rest of my hol (pathetic 2days) to finish up all the homework. It's no more mystery It is finally clear to me You're the home my heart searched for so long And it is you I have loved all along It is you I have loved (Dana Glover) it is you,
Today is just another day when my emotions went like a sine graph.When I cant stop those flashbacks from replaying over and over again, thats helpless. When theres no way I could save myself from this sadness, thats when Ive lost myself. drumline.
I'll never get sick of this.After o's, I must make it to the next wmc. I'll do whatever it takes
We(Ft Pris and I) saw human-rabbits at ikea today. Seriously, that was enough for my laughter to last through lunch.Some jokes that are shared among us(clique) will last. Even when we repeat them twenty million times, it will still be funny. (Superb example: too t**** / CY / cave) For weird but unique reason like this, I cherish every moment we have together. I bet my drums are having a hard time surviving the heat these days. Recall about geog, des' monstrous acts(HAHA!) upon seeing jb on the cover page seriously freaks me out. I guess my mum is giving ptm a pass this time. Despite so, Ive already decided to work hard and really buck up. Theres only one chance for o's and Im not giving it up! But remember the time I told you the way that I felt That I'd be lost without you and never find myself Let's hold onto each other above everything else Start over, start over Whatever it takes (Lifehouse) Day156, deep inside its hurting still.
I dreamt of us(seeoh committee) going off for an advanture camp that requires us to kayak. This shows my mind has been occupied by 1) june seeoh camp 2) dumb kayaking thoughts (:/). Sometimes I do agree that my brain has been too occupied by irrelevant things(a.k.a rubbish) that theres limited storage for relevant details. Thats bad.On a totally irrelevant note: My incoming text tone never fails to give me a shock. It was happy tree friends in the past, now - decode(paramore). In life, having someone who really understands how you feel is a bless. Im really thankful to have such a great friend with me since the day he decided walk out of my life. Really, thank you! my heart's in two
Great to see improvements in our orchestra, jiayou everybody.Sigh. Just, . things will definitely turn out right if you were around,
More often than not, we gave up even before starting. Thats teenagers, we're easily defeated by stress that we thought we couldnt handle. Superficially, scoring well for tests/exams is just for the sake of meeting expectations made by people around us (e.g. parents, teachers, even tutors). In truth, those are not expectations at all, but what we're supposed to do, isnt it?We might say all the hardwork for syf is mainly for the school, but if we think deeper its all for our own good. Whether or not we get a gold / cop the school dont gain/lose anything as significant as the time and effort we spent practicing. Since the day we decided to commit ourselves to orchestra we should be prepared for all the extra hardwork we have to put in, so really hope everyone of the orchestra will finally see the reason why we've been working so hard for that 10 minutes on stage. We've come so far together, its the final lap let's all work towards our goal together alright! 21 April. I know we can make it through together as an orchestra, a big family. (P/s Grace! Its up on my motivation list already!(:) So many things has been running in my mind lately. Some things can be expressed through words, some I'll never be able to find the right words to string them up. Sigh.. play those running notes
Jian Kuai De Liang Feng on youtube is bringing back all those memories. Anyway Man Utd lost. Sigh. I wish I grab the chance to say
Currently: United v Liverpool.(Sigh.) Screwed during seeoh today. Time and again, its about concentration. Shant ramble on, else the emoness will come back. March holiday:
The third bullet has been put up for the sake of the committee members who bombarded my phone with 18missed calls this morning. Sigh, Im sorry.
那些愛过的感觉都太深刻,我都还记得。 If only you could be in my life like you've been on my mind,
Entire week:
This week went like a sine graph, with all the good and bad happening one after another.So soon, its March hol. Deep inside, Im somehow feeling less uptight though I'll still have to be back in school for 4/7 of my hol, at least there will not be normal lessons going on. Today's tuition was surprisingly lively. Intergration practically includes the entire amath syllabus, eight out of ten things my tutor ques about trigo functions I will start going "uh.." and give the blur look. And today he could not help but blurted "Ah, forgot again ah, everything also forgot". And when I finally got one question right, he went "Okay not too bad at least you got one correct. Sometimes he really makes me feel dumb. :/ And I almost burn my entire house down, almost. Truthfully, (I cant deny I dont feel a thing about whatever Ive heard / seen, but theres nothing I could do either. Whether or not its no longer as important anymore, isnt it?) its hard for anyone to replace you in my heart. the sunset that we'll never get to catch together
Random photos:If you've went Ft's blog, this is another lame snap Chua Sin Hui x2 Times that Im missing Mel and Mich, I really miss those times in China that we had together. I can still remember how we laughed our heads off during the singing session over the low quality light sticks that flew off. Really hope to meet up with you girls soon, (: But for now, keep going and dont give up! Jiayou for amaths and band! Am going to grandma's place for stayover tonight, I guess this will become a twice/thrice in a week kinda thing. Just hope everything will be fine soon. Appreciate. Really love this song. Life is too short, so take the time and appreciate. The weekend has passed awfully quick, so far it has been largely unproductive. On a lighter note, this week will be the final week before March Holidays. Although there'll be 9am - 5pm intensive practices during the holidays, I think I'll still enjoy this short holiday. Hope this holiday will bring me closer to the right track Im supposed to be on. I really want to continue working on chinese but it really sucks when you keep falling in and out of sleep within 3hours. Its as if Im down with some illnesses and desperately needs rest. Thats extremely frustrating. After hearing Mr Ong's pov, Im worried of syf too. Its really time to work harder(perhaps twenty thousand times harder). Gave things a thought when I was on my way home after erhu, Mr Sim has always been right about me not concentrating enough. Its really true actually, my job is as simple as counting and playing at the right beat. Nothing too difficult or demanding actually. So I'll really concentrate more. Seeoh, JIAYOU! Its always about concentration, just puzzled why cant I just concentrate. I used to stone so much that it became my habit, but back then I was able to do more things, and was more efficient. Now that Ive slowly kicked the habit of stoning, Ive also lost the ability accomplish things efficiently. Thats disappointing. "Hang on, and hang in there. Everything will be just fine in no time, so long as you keep the faith in you you'll make it through." I'll keep the faith. Hanging by a thread
Chinese does not agree with my brain, every time I settle to do any chinese related work, I feel sleepy. :/ Really wish that chi o's will be over asap and really hope it'll be distinction this time, or else there'll be torture for an extra 6months.Lo and behold, Syf and prefects investiture are on the same day, almost the same time happening at two different places. Bad timing, bad clash. I've been rather detached since yesterday and its almost impossible to string the appropriate words together to form the right sentences to express the right feelings. Or should I say I cant even figure out how Im feeling because I dont what to feel. It happened so long ago its not supposed to matter anymore, yet it does. It feels just like yesterday, the only difference is, after so long Ive finally understood perhaps we're nmtb, but I'll aly, just know I'll. a hole in my heart
My emotions are so entangled that theres almost nothing I can do to help. Instead, I end up losing control of my emotions more and more. More often than not, its not words spoken that resonate the loudest, but the magnitude of things left unsaid.Warum sind Sie so schwer zu vergessen? no matter who enters my life, your place, its irreplaceable
Thank you everyone for the Manutd jers / bouquet of flower / photoframe made using lego / files / book / huge lollipop / cookies / muffins / cakes / chocolates / cards / notes / birthday wishes. (: And really thank you for making my day. Hope you guys had had a happy 3rd March too! (Thanks to Ft, Pris and sis for the wonderful dinner too!)Today is unlike any other seeoh-day. It just feels so weird going to seeoh and I really abhor the smell that has been in the broadcasting room for such a longgggggggggggg time. Will somebody put some mothballs in the room? ): Syf is nearing, and yet we're (I am) still making so many mistakes in our songs. Theres really something we should do to improve! And I really miss the seniors alot! As Malcolm and Xinrong play our '07 choice piece I know its true to say no matter how long it has been I still misses the seniors' company alot! After looking at the physics scoresheet I think theres really a need to make a change in my life: STUDY HARD! Really gotta buck up and work harder from now on. (I hope this momentum wont die off after some time.) Felt so out of place after thinking about results, its more like I'll fail o's than passing it with flying colours now. So I guess its neccessary for the change, and really stop being lazy and such. Nothing will ever change anything. Not distance, not time, not space. (There will just be a part of me that's going to be in love with you for the rest of my life) |
the years that were erased December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 the way sunshine would light up your face Endless love, (: Rockathon Ilove2e4'07! 4e3'09! Angela Atikah Beatrice Carmen Celine Chaiyuan Chialeng Chiamhong Choonyan Cleo Clive Deborah Desiree Fangting Faiziyyah Gary Gladys Guowei Hanrui Haozhe Huiyun Ivan Jekkai Joey Joyce Kaixin Kwangteng Mabel Madeline Marion Meijuan Michelle Mr.lee Natalie Nicole Nurul Priscilla Rachel Rebecca Ryan Sara Sharon Shaowei Sueyi Supeng Syafiqah Sylvia Syuhadah Tracy Vandana Vivian Weijia Wenyi ZhiTing ManchesterUnited NickVujicic |
all the little things
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